Thursday, January 30, 2014

A very personal post

This is going to be a bit of a departure from the usual blog posts. Emotional and Personal, heads up.
My girlfriend was in a car accident today. She's fine, but if she hadn't been...
One of my biggest fears these ten long years I've been with her is that someone will take her away. First, it was worry that our parents would separate us. After coming out to our families, there was worry of losing our jobs (Yes, there are still laws on the books in our county -unlikely to be acted on, but still there). But my biggest fear has always been that she'll get hurt, and I won't be allowed in the hospital.
I spent the entire afternoon physically sick with worry, not because she was hurt -she called me almost immediately after it happened, and I knew she was fine. But I kept worrying that something was wrong and she just didn't know it yet, and they'd rushed her to the hospital, and they'd call me, because I'm her emergency contact, but that I wouldn't be able to get in to see her. That she'd be bleeding internally and dying and they'd keep me from her.
This is something sick and awful about this. There were a thousand other things I could be worrying about - that I could have been worrying about if we were a cis/heterocouple- but instead I was seized with the nauseating fear that my lover would die without my being allowed to hold her hand. I am tearing up again just writing this.
I realize there are states now in which we could be married, and that things are moving in the right direction, and honestly I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, half so much as I just needed to say it.
I live in a world where my biggest fears are not being allowed to be with the woman I love. And that's wrong.
It's that simple.
My parents faced similar issues, being a mixed race couple. I hope my nearly born nephew will grow up in a better world.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Outtakes: Zig and Chris

We had a string of pretty awful scenes we needed to turn out for Asylum, and most of the unpleasantness was in Caitlin's court. I attempted to write her some light-hearted candy type scenes, but Zig's been in a funk lately, so when I said, "Show us something from your past- how about you and Chris at the bar!", he gave me this.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Experiment: the Results are in

Yup, pretty much frustrated with Blogger. It's simplistic design- which was comforting when I was overwhelmed with word press- is now rather frustrating. I'll admit, most of my issue is with the app- I do A LOT of editing/tweaking on the go (read:bored at work), so not being able to do as much as I can on WP is a big turn off. 

This will probably be the last effort I put into Blogger as far as "The Experiment", but if I can think of something fun to do with this space, I'll keep it going. I'm not gonna lie though, it's probably gonna go the way of a more personal journal (read:place to complain and/or brag), but if you're into that (read:STALKER!!!) then stay tuned! Otherwise, all the good stuff will be airing on BBC1- I mean word press 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Sketches: Naj

Same awesome journal that Seth is sketched in. I wish I could remember the name of the vendor, they were cool folks - from NY, I think. The front of it has a great quote by George Bernard Shaw. "Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating itself."

Friday, January 24, 2014

The Experiment: Missing content

Alright, anyone following along in blogger land, you guys are gonna be missing some content. I've started doing more linking to WP blogs and the Daily Challenge and things like that, and I just don't feel like them adding them over here. What gets done with a simple button click on WP with WP content just doesn't translate as easily to this blog.

Honestly, I'll probably be moving over to strictly WP at some point. I'm hoping to still do something with this, but I have no idea what.

Suggestions?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Writing Mania

So, for the past three days or so, I've woken up knowing exactly what the characters need to do next.
Not like a vague, this is where we're going sort of direction, but a literal the exact words I need to type are scrolling across my brain and I'd better get to a keyboard and get them out before I lose them.
I've always written my best first thing in the morning, sneaking down when no one else is awake, putting on the kettle and just going for an hour (stopping to make tea when the whistle blows, of course), but this goes beyond that. I feel like I have moved into this hyperspace where the story will just come to me, and I write until I'm forced to stop (by either work or the need for sleep) and the instant I can get back to it again, there it is, waking me up an hour earlier than is reasonable and demanding I write.
My mother is the sort to self-diagnose all her children with whatever she's last seen on Dr. Oz, but when she told me I was bipolar, I looked into a bit. (Let me preface all this by saying that if I am, it is BEYOND mild and not unmanageable, and probably well within the range of "normal" swings anyways.) It's easy to find patterns of highs and lows in my life, but the human mind has always been susceptible to seeing what it expects to see. Still, as I'm a little older now and can watch for these things in myself, I wonder if I'm not starting a bit of a mania. I was certainly depressed enough these past few months, but anyways. We'll see what yields.
Regardless, I am SUPER excited to have the writing moving along so nicely!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Writing Goals: Week 3

Week three has been GREAT! After a rough start, we've gotten TONS of work done on Asylum, moving it past the never ending event horizon of The Big Thing, and we're dealing with the aftermath. The bulk of it should be mopped up by next week - possibly even with us FINISHING Asylum by the end of January. Most definitely by the end of February. I am BEYOND excited!
Writing Goals for 2014: Week 3
-Blog goals: Alright, I actually have something resembling a schedule hammered out ...ish. So far, it'll run something like this:
  • 7's (7, 14, 21, 28): The Weekly writing goals update
  • 5's (05, 15, 25): Sketches! At least through April. I've got enough sketches queued up for that far, and more sketches lying around on the coffee table and in various binders, waiting for me to find them and post them. I should be able to handle three sketch pieces a month (I hope).
  • 9, 10, 11: Doctor Days! Hoooray 
  • If I know me, I'll probably do something New Monthy on the 1st and recap-y on the 30/1st, but I'm not setting this in stone
  • Smattering of actual writings, probably in the 16-20 range, since there's not a lot going on in there, but again, not a set in stone update. I'd like to try to post some actually writing at least once a week though. That'd be nice.
  • Same smattering kind of idea for tips and tricks I use as a writer, various "Writing about Writing"
  • Random thoughts and and feelings throughout the month as they come to me
-Writing at least once a day, as is suggested by so many successful authors: 
Ok, this one is a weird one for me.
I actually can't not write everyday (did I set that double negative up right?) but what I'd like to do is getting a little work done on Asylum and Co. every day. But yeah, I'm totally writing everyday, whether its a blog post, or a forum post, or answering some of the lengthy emails I send back and forth with friends, or character blurbs, or what have you. I'm totally writing every day, no worries there.
We're moving into the new semester, and it looks like we'll be able to take Wednesday as an all day writing day, with Saturdays as well if we need them. I should also get about an hour before work on Fridays, and there's always Sunday and Monday mornings, since I work later then. Tuesday is right out the window - I will always been too exhausted on Tuesdays to do anything useful, but we'll see what Thursdays have in store.
-ACTUALLY FINISH A COMPLETE STORY so that I can flex my editing muscles a bit:
Well on the way to that- huzzah! Also , there's that whole NaNo thing I really should look at, though I have no idea where to go with it. Maybe if I actually re-read it, something will come to mind.
-Research employment opportunities in the writing field (so vague, I know) since I'm tired of my soul sucking service industry job: Haven't checked out the local paper yet - I need to stay on this! Doing is the difference between dreams and reality - I'm just so easily caught up in writing that it pretty much steals me away as soon as I open my computer.
So that's week three - hooray! How's everyone else doing?

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Outtakes: Seth dances with Emily

Just a one off with Seth and Emily. I suppose, technically, any scene with Seth is a spoiler, so if you HATE spoilers and ever intend on reading Asylum when it's finished and I start posting it, then don't read this. However, that's so far away, and this is so unconnected to anything else, that I don't honestly see it being a problem. So, you've been warned, spoiler, I guess. :P

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Writing Goals: Week 2.5

Ok, back before I realized what a stupid idea it was to try and talk about CURRENT PROGRESS before it happened, I wrote this post for week three. You can have it now, and I'll work up a better post for my actual progress report for week 3, which is going much better than anticipated. Week 2 had me really, really down.
___________
TERRIBLE week this week - too much work. Kids came back to school, bad weather and illness in the staff meant I was working way, way overtime, and lost the groove of what was going on in Asylum. We'll get back to it, but it's going to be a struggle, I think. Wish us luck.
Writing Goals for 2014: Week 2.5
 -Keeping my blog post scheduled up at least a week in advance, so I'm not stressing deadlines: Still working with the re-vamp of the schedule, so I guess Mini-goal: Figure out what posting schedule I want to go with and get its page up.
-Writing at least once a day, as is suggested by so many successful authors: Not happening lately. I'm really not happy about this. But it is the first week of school, and everything is crazy, so maybe once I actually settle into a routine?
-ACTUALLY FINISH A COMPLETE STORY so that I can flex my editing muscles a bit: ASYLUM HAS GROUND TO A HALT! I need to figure out how to get back on track with this!
However, on the editing note, it's apparently time to start editing my NaNo, so I guess if Asylum keeps confounding me, I can work on that. I dread the idea of touching that horrid thing again, but I did make a legally binding promise on a silly website, so I suppose I must. :P
-Research employment opportunities in the writing field (so vague, I know) since I'm tired of my soul sucking service industry job: Might have a lead on this, one of my employees suggested I look into working for the local newspaper - any feedback on that, anyone? HR is also a possibility, apparently - I hate that I feel like I don't know anything about the grown up world and grown up jobs! I'm 27, damnit, when will I finally feel qualified to be an adult?
Aaaand that's my writing week. Anyone else able to chime in with something more positive? I could use some success stories right now.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Ridiculous stupid happy day

This will matter to no one but me, but I don't care, because I'm stupidly happy.
I emailed my favorite author today. She wrote back.
I got to speak with two Diente and a leader of the Obsidian Guild.
I got things moving in Asylum today, THE BIG THING is  being written as we speak.
I found a new character today, and he is nearly integrated completely into the worlds I need him to work in.
I got to go to the gym.
I had chorizo and hominy for dinner today.
I'm getting a custom icy toy from Bad Dragon (NSFW).
Many of these things are unrelated, but they have come together to make a VERY happy Raeven.

The Experiment: WP wins, I think

So I find myself gravitating away from blogger.
I write all of my posts in Word Press, then copy/paste over to blogger -if I remember. So far I haven't forgotten one, but I feel like it's just a matter of time before I forget about it all together.
On the one hand, it makes me sad, cause that feels like wasting space, but on the other hand, I'm kinda happy to know that I have a true preference. I knew my knee jerk reaction to blogger was just from being overwhelmed by all the options on Word Press, and I'm happy to see that I didn't let myself give up on WP just because it was daunting at first.
I do still wanna do something with my blogger, but I'm not sure what. Suggestions?

Friday, January 17, 2014

Apparently, I am a time traveler.

APPARENTLY, I AM A TIME TRAVELER!

I had meant to post a picture of Seth on the same day I posted “Have you seen my serpent?”. I did not get it done. I posted it today, but had it set to have been published on the day I’d originally meant to do it. So, if you missed it, it’s back there, somewhere.
I AM A TIME LORD.
On a more serious note, I’m pretty in love with the new scheduling idea. I think it will work much better than what I’d been doing before. :)
…*suddenly hopes that said post has already made it through the queue* Hooray for time travel!

[edited to add] Even better? I have actually copied over the Seth post in question yet, so it's even MOAR Time fuckery. 
This is my brain sometimes.
This is my brain sometimes.

An idea about scheduling

For someone afraid of being off topic, or running out of things to say, I sure do a lot of posting. :P

It's odd, though. I'll have a thought on a certain day, then cue it up for like a week later. With some things, it works- like the feast of St. Zig. Nothing particularly time related there.

But this post, for example, is being written on the 10th, but cued up for the 17th. On the one hand, I like having something on my blog every day, but on the other, it's making it hard to strike up a dialogue. I'm no longer feeling what I've posted by the time it gets to you.

So, an idea. After this string of queue  posts runs out, I'm gonna keep staging "fixed" posts, like the 9-10-11 posts and the writing goals embarrass me into keeping track posts, then just let everything else come as it comes. I'll surely wind up with some "The Writings" entries that I can cue up for whenever, but as far as posts like these, for the what's on my writing mind? I think I'll just write them as yet come, like bonus content.

I really like this idea, and I think it'll work well for me. It gives me some deadlines, so I stay accountable, but gives me the flexibility to say what's on my mind.

So when I figure out what my "fixed" post schedule will be, I'll add an updates page so you know when to check in, and everything else will be a surprise. :)

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Opinion Time: To post, or not to post

One of my characters is deeply disturbed.
DEEPLY disturbed.
Like, takes it out on small children, 5 flavors of crazy disturbed.
Also not human.
The question is: do I share the crap that rolls through her head with the world? I wrote a scene with her and her brother earlier, and it's still got me shaken up. I'm disturbed that something like that lives inside me. But it's part of the world, part of their story, and just plain who they are. However, it's not at all relevant to what they're doing. She's a side character, with no place to go and no major plot point to affect. She just happened to want to share with a pretty graphic sex scene.
So, to post or not to post? I'd intended on posting some more mature stuff in here as I go on, to see what does and doesn't hit the filters, but this stuff is pretty bad. Nothing too terribly descriptive (at least as far as the disturbing stuff goes - the sex is as graphic as any other sex I write) but just... I dunno. It's bad enough even I'm not sure I want to claim, and for those of you that know me, that's pretty bad.
So what would you do, if you have a psychotic violent killer in your head, talking to you about the stuff they would do if their brother wasn't there to keep them in check?

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Sketches: Seth, profile

Seemed appropriate to post this after the "Have you seen my serpent?" bit. For those curious, this is what Seth looks like (kinda. my sketching skills are not their most awesome).
20140114-230924.jpg
Some fun factoids:
  • I did this sketch on the final day of BazBiz in Cleveland, Ohio, while playing booth babe for my wonderful friend, Zabet (of anticraft fame). Wow, lots of links in that one.
  • This is not the first sketch I've done of Seth ...I think. Could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I've tried to draw him a few times before. This is definitely one of the better ones though.
  • The characters from Asylum come from a WIDE variety of ethnic backgrounds, so drawing them has been an exercise in "What makes X people look different from Y people?" An EXCELLENT resource for that sort of thing can be found here.

Excuse me, have you seen my serpent?

So, I find myself in an interesting situation: I don't know what my character is thinking.

This isn't for the usual reason of stubbornness or lack of knowledge on his part. Rather, I simply cannot reach him.

I think he is in someone else's head.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Writing Goals: Week 2

I'm trying this again. Last week was a flop, and all of you got to see my embarrassing not finished post- but it DID serve its purpose and remind me to check on my progress. I'm gonna try that tactic again, and we'll see if it works or not.
I'm also gonna go ahead and copy/paste my list of goals to help hold myself more accountable, and to make sure I see them over and over and over again so that I actually keep them in my mind. In high school, I used to make little notes in my notebooks or on my mirror or whatever so that I'd see them all the time, so hopefully that tactic still works for me. We'll see.
Writing Goals for 2014: Week 2
 -Keeping my blog post scheduled up at least a week in advance, so I'm not stressing deadlines:So far, so good, but 9,10 and 11 write themselves. Next week will be harder.
-Writing at least once a day, as is suggested by so many successful authors: I am so sleep deprived lately, I can't remember if I've done this or not. I need to come up with a better way to measure that, my days are running together, and writing at a set time every day is just not doable.
-ACTUALLY FINISH A COMPLETE STORY so that I can flex my editing muscles a bit: I am working on that. Slowly and surely Asylum is creeping to a close. Naj is also being very helpful and suggesting to me where I need to do some re-writes, because the story he's telling me now doesn't quite match up with what I've already written. I made a deal with him that if he'll just give me SOMETHING now, I will do all the editing for him later, and even write some gratuitous fun scenes for him (and for all of you!)
-Research employment opportunities in the writing field (so vague, I know) since I'm tired of my soul sucking service industry job: Hmmm, no. Not so much with this one. Anyone have any suggestions? At this point, I'd take any job that was sit down at a desk, reliable Mon-Fri 9-5, soul sucking or not. At least then I could be on a fixed schedule, instead of this In at 9, out at 3am sometimes crap.
Ok, so more of a weekly recap than a monthly one, but I like the weekly schedule better, for now, to help get the ball rolling. It's working for me, and that's the entire point, really.
How's everyone else doing?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Finishing my first book

The first "book" of The Asylum is coming to a close.
It's been an interesting journey, and I've learned a whole lot along the way. This is the first book I've ever written all the way through to the finish, though of course the story is no where near over. But my partner and I both know this is the end of book one, we can just tell. There's a big plot point looming on the horizon that'll change everything, and open everything up for books upon books to come.
It's kinda funny, we've know this was coming for weeks, but the closer we get to it in the writing, the longer its seeming to take to actually get there. Like an event horizon of a black hole. I don't think the characters want us to write it. :P I can't say I blame them, it's going to be pretty intense.
Looking back on it all, it's been an odd adventure.
I'm still kind of in shell shock about it all, but once I've decompressed a bit and had some time, I'll share more complete thoughts on the matter, and maybe talk about the editing process a bit as well (once I've given myself the required "just walk away for a while" stage)

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Writings: A bit of Zig

Sometimes, inspiration will strike at the strangest moments.

Cooking dinner earlier, I suddenly heard Zig start talking, and this little snippet was born. It's not as clear in the beginning, because I rushing to capture the dialogue, but as I was able to keep up with it, the writing blossomed, then just as quickly faded. Maybe this will be part of a story I write for him one day, maybe this is all he cares to tell me of it. Who knows? Sometimes, it's just enough for you the author to know, so that when a character references something, you're not completely lost. Sometimes, its fun to collect all these little nothings and share them with your audience (at least I hope you're all having fun :P)

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Your 11th for January

I'm having so much fun with these little Whovian things.
"Ah, I like what you did there! Keep it up!"
"Ah, I like what you did there! Keep it up!"

Friday, January 10, 2014

Your 10th for January

Gonna make this a thing, if I remember to every month. I really like it :)
Happy Writing!
-R
You! WRITE!
You! WRITE!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

My blog is full of beautiful men

Both pictures of celebs, and wonderful, wonderful characters.

I'm very happy about this fact. :)

Your 9th for January

I'm really enjoying this 9, 10, 11 thing, I think I want to keep it. I guess that means I should get current with my Who so I can get to know 12. But for now, a little bit of Chris for ya!
Happy Writing!
-R
You know you should be writing.
You know you should be writing.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Happy Birthday, David Bowie!

Ziggy wants me to remind you all to wish Mr. Bowie a very happy birthday. :)


Killing your Darlings

I had started this post nearly a month ago, and had forgotten about it. It's a link to a wonderful post about Whitman's phrase "Kill all your Darlings". I can't recall exactly what I meant to say about it, but I do know it's worth the read.
Just wanted to share this for later about killing your darlings

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Writing Goals: Week 1

So, here's the plan. If I do this right, I will go back and edit this post and actually talk about how I'm doing with my writing goals during the first week of Jan. I'd like to make it a recurring thing for the 7's of every month (7, 14, 21, 28) to help me accountable. We'll see how it goes. If I stick with things like I'd like to, I'll come back, edit this post, and have lots of success to share with you all. Maybe only stories of what doesn't work, or ideas for what might work.

If it all falls through, then there will be nothing but this embarrassing post to remind me I should be writing. : P

I'm tempted to put up an embarrassing baby photo as well, but that seems a bit like overkill for a post I intend to delete, more or less.

Feel free to mock me if I fail, or spam me with motivational Tennants : P

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Writings: The Feast of St. Zig

So, speaking of meat posts, I haven't posted any actual writing in a while. Now that I've finished my NaNo, I'm a little at a loss for what to post that isn't what I'm working on currently. Asylum just isn't ready to come out yet, and I don't want to rush it.

On the plus side, Cait and I have this lovely little writing process called "Outtakes" where we write something in universe but unrelated to any of the current story lines. Sometimes its cannon, sometimes it's mostly cannon, and sometimes it's completely off the wall. This one is a brief look into Zig's everyday life, for curiosities sake.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Filler or Fuller? Posting every day

Sitting down to queue up this week's posts, I find myself wondering: what is the "ideal" posting schedule?

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Never Enough time: a slightly whiny post

Wow. I hadn't meant for this to get whiny, but apparently I'm really bummed out about this problem of mine, so sorry for that. :( If you care to read on, I would like some brainstorming ideas.
-R

Friday, January 3, 2014

My quotable girlfriend

That moment when your cat gives you serious eye contact as he kneads a blanket. That face that says, "You. This could be you."
--
This is one of the many reasons I love my girlfriend. She says the best things. :)

The Experiment: On Vacation

Alright, it's been a while since I've done a comparison piece, so here we go.
I took most of the past two weeks off from work, from blogging, from everything. No one is really surprised, I'm sure. Today's comparison is a little thing, but I think in the long run it's pretty important to the success of a blog - how often the author thinks about it.
I haven't thought about my blogger once in all this vacation time. Once I cued up the posts for both sites, I stopped thinking about blogger and hadn't thought about it again until writing my New Year's post and realizing I'd need to copy/paste it to both locations.
Without my word press blog, this whole project probably would have died.
My WP keep sending me little emails about this or that post being liked (Thanks, everyone! I'm glad you liked it!), or having new followers (Hello!), and while I didn't have enough Internet access to check anything (home is in backwoods Ohio), knowing that it was there, making people happy or think or simply click like because they were compelled to do so by little green aliens - it made a difference. It kept me thinking about what I wanted to in January, when NaNo recap would be over. It made me wonder what my new followers were like, if I'd another great blog I'd like to follow, made me excited to catch up on the ones I'm following now.
I guess what I'm saying is Word Press left me with a better sense of community.
I don't know if that's because my G+ is mostly empty, or if WP is just easier to set things up in, or purely baseless, but in keeping me feeling connected, this round goes to Word Press.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Re-Writes

Ack. I just started trying to edit my main story for beta-readers.
It sucks.
Going back over 500 pages of writing ago, I don't even feel like I remember this story anymore. This is the first major editing I've ever done, and it's daunting. It also doesn't help that I'm trying to write out what was one of the corner stones of my character, because it really needs doing. He wasn't meant to be a long lasting character, and he can't stand as he is now.
But it's a really big re-write.
I wish I had something inspirational to say here, some great pep talk for anyone else going through this, but it's after midnight, and I've been editing for over four hours. I'm tired, my eyes hurt, and it seems hopeless.
But I guess the inspirational part will come when I finish, and can post the completed draft. So hang in there, kids, this story will have a happy ending, I promise. :)
Happy Writing,
-R

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

How to achieve your goals: Write it Down!

Welcome to 2014!
I always feel a little silly celebrating the new year two months after it's passed for me (I prefer an older style of yearly reckoning, ending my year with October) but it is a changing of the calendar, and a chance for some clean slate action.
I like to use all the resolution energy floating around to help propel some changes in my life, set some goals and try to lay the ground work for good habits. This includes my writing habits, so I thought I'd share.
Writing Goals for 2014: